Chocolate Ka Karkhana

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory starring the otherwise splendid (you’ll know why) Johnny Depp is made out to be a children’s film. It is anything but that.

For starters, Willy Wonka’s Wonka chocolates are fabulous. I’m not sure why. The world is in awe of them. For decades, the factory has been shut and now a contest has been announced that would let 5 kids enter the factory for a tour. You know the story… if you don’t… seriously, don’t bother.

My questions are:

  1. Why does Wonka wear a girlie toupee?
  2. Is there any reason to suspect he is a drag queen/gay/paedophile?
  3. Why do all the people he employs (can’t remember what they are called) look the same?
  4. Where did he get so many?
  5. How did he bring them to the factory without anyone seeing them?
  6. Why did the PETA not object to him employing squirrels? Why were there no dharnas?
  7. Who automated the entire factory? If he did, why did he also not start a machine tools factory?
  8. Who handles his accounts?
  9. Has the human rights commission examined the work conditions? All that syrup and sweet around would be a breeding ground for ants at least.
  10. Has the health department seen the way nuts are added to the chocolates?
  11. If he is exporting the chocolates, who with, when and how did he sign the transport agreements?
  12. Who handles his overseas accounts?

Sure, this is a children’s movie (yeah, right!) but these are pertinent issues that children should know about. No? It is just these kind of movies that lead to children thinking the world can be perfect and all roses when in reality, the story could be something else. Despite all of my 26 years of life on this planet, those creepy workers and Wonka himself freaked me out. Cannot, for the life of me, imagine how the kids would have taken it.

Also, don’t you think the name ‘Wonka’ is a little too suggestive for a children’s movie?


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