Awards Nite v/s Awards Night

March 6, 2006 in Entertainment, Movies

Right from the time I caught this year’s Filmfare Awards (this is the last time the name is mentioned in the post; also, tacky site, open at own risk) on TV, I was wondering why they look so bad. Then came the Zee Cine Awards on Saturday and my mind was in further turmoil. And then this morning (Mar 6) happened the Academy Awards. Which seemed to be a class apart. Probably because they were.

So what was it that was so desperately lacking in the two Indian functions mentioned? Finesse, for one was non-existent. Look at the Oscars and you see some amount of grandeur. There is a ‘big ticket event’ feel to it. The stage is decorated well and lit very well. There’s no ‘shady’ feeling about it. I have attended one Filmfare function in person and can report that there is nothing to report about. It feels as bad (or as good, depending on which side you are on) as a college annual. The said event was at the MMRDA ground in Mumbai and the entrance to the, well, ground was marked with a black arch. Wow!

The ground itself was dusty with red carpet (the Rs 20 per hour kinds) all over. Water had been sprinkled on the ground to make sure no duststorms rose through the evening. Employees of the media group organising the event (that’s how they would report this, actually!) would then escort the celebrity to their designated seating area and that’s the end of that. Dances (performances, if you will) would be seen to the latest blockbuster songs and some inane comedian with a half-dressed woman would ‘anchor’ (or host, as it is known today) the show. Yawn!

This year (not sure if this also happened last year; I didn’t catch it), nominations for the technical awards were not known to the public. Unless I missed a full page ad in the said media group’s mainline English daily. Anyway, to someone like me who did not catch that ad, this was an evening of announcements and giving awards to winners without ever knowing who the runners-up were.

Except that is, for the best actor and best actress awards. These, along with the director, music director and singers are the holy grail of Indian cinema. Let the rest rot in hell, what?

Carrying on, it is not only the event presentation that is found wanting. Nominees (wherever applicable), winners, their date(s), entourage, dogs, hair dressers, shoe cleaner, time-keeper and driver’s dog (driver has to be with the car to enable speedy exit, you see) are just as badly dressed. It is a general observation that apart from the sponsors and the presenters, none of the celebrities are attired appropriately to be present at such an event.

So why should the organisers show them due respect? I mean, they all make enough to be able to afford a suit/facny saree/gown (again, wherever applicable. Everything is not for everyone) for the evening. Heck, even I have 1 full suit. Heh.

Or is this the fraternity’s (excluding said media group and all its publications) way of showing protest for lack of respect to the technicians? But then, their protest does not seem to have registered for well over the 15 years I have been watching this.

If Bollywood apes just about everything there is to from Hollywood (including its name!), why not the awards function? Why should it look like an annual social in Dajiba Colony, Ghatkopar (E)? [Disclaimer: I have nothing against Ghatkopar (E) and it is mentioned only because it was the first place that came to mind. It does have an impact, though, no?] Plus, there is TV that carries these images around the world (sob). And the world judges us.

Another theory hence that arises out of this, could be that after watching this (if they can manage the torture, that is), the Academy of Motion pictures (the guys who give away the Oscars, dummy) don’t take us seriously. So no matter how good the movie, the Academy could be worried that the Indian nominees/winners will not turn up properly dressed for their evening. And they have a bigger audience on TV to worry about. So there. I have just proved why India does not/cannot win an Oscar.

I just wonder if the editors/heads of the said media group(s) that organises the aforementioned film award events are reading. Of course not.

Maybe that’s why it’s also called ****fare Awards Nite. Like Disco Dandiya Nite! Heh!