Bad Ads II

(Warning: Long and rambling sorts. Could be termed funny!) 

Earlier, I had written about a really ghastly Radio ad. Now I draw my sword on some pathetic TV spots. Both the ones I shall comment upon have superstars (lots of 'em) but no substance… so here goes:

Pepsi TV
Starring: Shahrukh Khan, Priyanka Chopra, Kareena (same as Kareina) Kapoor and two 1.5l bottles of Pepsi. Support cast unknown.
There was a promo by Frooti about 2 years or so ago about a fictitous character Digen Verma. And it created a helluva lot of hype. Because the ad simply asked "Who is Digen Verma?". The answer was "You". In a strange correlation of sorts, Pepsi TV was also built up similarly with Shahrukh Khan trying to tune his TV to receive "Pepsi TV". Hm. One was compelled to think whether Pepsi has indeed come up with their own channel… but then, the second part of the ad came and completely killed what seemed like an interesting concept.

"Pepsi peete peete jab aap TV dekhte hai, to usse Pepsi TV kehte hai". 

Please. Someone save me. And why did one need Kareena (or is it Kareina) Kapoor (KKappoorr, whatever) and Priyanka Chopra to say this inane line? Logically (nowhere in the picture yet, hence I introduce it!), this would apply to all things. So if you are eating chana and drinking Pepsi while watching TV, it's "Pepsi Chana TV". Pepsi + Rum would make it "Pepsi Rum TV" and so on. You get the drift, right?

And this would also apply to watching TV when say, having tea or scratching yourself or you know, getting cosy with someone. The first two are ok and gross respectively, but the I&B Ministry would never allow the third. For it would be known as "Cosy TV" or "Necking TV" or "Make Out TV" depending on the level of activity you are indulging in.

Now lets bring in a touch of science into this. Hopefully everyone is aware of the law of transitivity (for the non-scientifically-inclined, it says if a = b and b = c, then a = c). Now putting the logic and science to use (they work together so brilliantly, I tell you) we can infer that since Pepsi TV is what you see when drinking Pepsi and watching TV, and Make Out TV is well, you know what, and since that cannot be allowed, Pepsi TV also cannot exist. I wish. I would have been spared the insipid ads at least!

Lux Soap
Starring: Aishwarya Rai (cartoon also her) and three dumb-ass guys. 

Aishwarya Rai just did the rather well-done ad for Coca-Cola (she is doing a better job of it in ads than the movies, eh? Perhaps a return to roots or sorts, what?) and then she agrees to do this: become a nymphomaniacal-looking cartoon superheroine. Who flies around throwing frisbees.

Let's look at it positively, though. As a superheroine, what special powers does she possess? Frisbee throwing is one we know. The other is the ability to bathe (d-uh, this is for a soap) and the third would have to be switch between real and cartoon life at the drop of a soap, oops hat.

Nothing much to write about in the ad and the bottom line is that this is soap she is selling. So it's lavender in colour and makes Aishwarya look thinner and better 'filled up' in all the right areas (controlled environment, you see, in the drawing room). That apart, forget it. I prefer Dettol and Hamam. They are orange and green respectively. Also smell decent and have disinfectants for sure.

They do, right? 

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