Archive for the ‘Advertising’ Category

(Warning: Long and rambling sorts. Could be termed funny!) 

Earlier, I had written about a really ghastly Radio ad. Now I draw my sword on some pathetic TV spots. Both the ones I shall comment upon have superstars (lots of 'em) but no substance… so here goes:

Pepsi TV
Starring: Shahrukh Khan, Priyanka Chopra, Kareena (same as Kareina) Kapoor and two 1.5l bottles of Pepsi. Support cast unknown.
There was a promo by Frooti about 2 years or so ago about a fictitous character Digen Verma. And it created a helluva lot of hype. Because the ad simply asked "Who is Digen Verma?". The answer was "You". In a strange correlation of sorts, Pepsi TV was also built up similarly with Shahrukh Khan trying to tune his TV to receive "Pepsi TV". Hm. One was compelled to think whether Pepsi has indeed come up with their own channel… but then, the second part of the ad came and completely killed what seemed like an interesting concept.

"Pepsi peete peete jab aap TV dekhte hai, to usse Pepsi TV kehte hai". 

Please. Someone save me. And why did one need Kareena (or is it Kareina) Kapoor (KKappoorr, whatever) and Priyanka Chopra to say this inane line? Logically (nowhere in the picture yet, hence I introduce it!), this would apply to all things. So if you are eating chana and drinking Pepsi while watching TV, it's "Pepsi Chana TV". Pepsi + Rum would make it "Pepsi Rum TV" and so on. You get the drift, right?

And this would also apply to watching TV when say, having tea or scratching yourself or you know, getting cosy with someone. The first two are ok and gross respectively, but the I&B Ministry would never allow the third. For it would be known as "Cosy TV" or "Necking TV" or "Make Out TV" depending on the level of activity you are indulging in.

Now lets bring in a touch of science into this. Hopefully everyone is aware of the law of transitivity (for the non-scientifically-inclined, it says if a = b and b = c, then a = c). Now putting the logic and science to use (they work together so brilliantly, I tell you) we can infer that since Pepsi TV is what you see when drinking Pepsi and watching TV, and Make Out TV is well, you know what, and since that cannot be allowed, Pepsi TV also cannot exist. I wish. I would have been spared the insipid ads at least!

Lux Soap
Starring: Aishwarya Rai (cartoon also her) and three dumb-ass guys. 

Aishwarya Rai just did the rather well-done ad for Coca-Cola (she is doing a better job of it in ads than the movies, eh? Perhaps a return to roots or sorts, what?) and then she agrees to do this: become a nymphomaniacal-looking cartoon superheroine. Who flies around throwing frisbees.

Let's look at it positively, though. As a superheroine, what special powers does she possess? Frisbee throwing is one we know. The other is the ability to bathe (d-uh, this is for a soap) and the third would have to be switch between real and cartoon life at the drop of a soap, oops hat.

Nothing much to write about in the ad and the bottom line is that this is soap she is selling. So it's lavender in colour and makes Aishwarya look thinner and better 'filled up' in all the right areas (controlled environment, you see, in the drawing room). That apart, forget it. I prefer Dettol and Hamam. They are orange and green respectively. Also smell decent and have disinfectants for sure.

They do, right? 

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Maybe not, and it's probably just my perverted mind at work. But is this picture something it should not be?
This was what I received as a mailer. It was from Toon Disney announcing their Hindi service starting Sept 1. Whatever.
To me, it looks like Minnie is trying to suck the face off Mickey. Making quite a mickey out of him, eh?
This has been an unproductive day!!

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Diana Hayden-Anchor? No Way.She might have been a beauty queen but she ain't no TV host(ess). For one her accent is incomprehensible. Where did she get it? Chembur? Moreover, isn't she from Hyderabad? So why the accent?

Anyway, the TOI is so deeply rooted in her psyche (!)—thanks to Ms India—that she can't control herself! Sample this:
Wednesday (I think), Biography featuring the Nehru-Gandhi family:
"Sonia Gandhi wore a pink saree for her wedding…." do you wanna hear the rest? Never mind. Thank god she didn't dig out the shoe and jewellery designer. Aren't there any better people who might do a better job of this. I think this is a documentary show and there is NO NEED to glamourise it thus.
Ok, so don't keep it drab like someone died but this is downright flaky. Moreover, she has no connection with the actual show and her bits are at best cut-and-pasted into the show. Why, oh why, have they ruined a perfectly good show?
I'm even ready to start a petition on this, but PLEASE TAKE HER OFF AIR.