Archive for the ‘Television’ Category

(Warning: Long and rambling sorts. Could be termed funny!) 

Earlier, I had written about a really ghastly Radio ad. Now I draw my sword on some pathetic TV spots. Both the ones I shall comment upon have superstars (lots of 'em) but no substance… so here goes:

Pepsi TV
Starring: Shahrukh Khan, Priyanka Chopra, Kareena (same as Kareina) Kapoor and two 1.5l bottles of Pepsi. Support cast unknown.
There was a promo by Frooti about 2 years or so ago about a fictitous character Digen Verma. And it created a helluva lot of hype. Because the ad simply asked "Who is Digen Verma?". The answer was "You". In a strange correlation of sorts, Pepsi TV was also built up similarly with Shahrukh Khan trying to tune his TV to receive "Pepsi TV". Hm. One was compelled to think whether Pepsi has indeed come up with their own channel… but then, the second part of the ad came and completely killed what seemed like an interesting concept.

"Pepsi peete peete jab aap TV dekhte hai, to usse Pepsi TV kehte hai". 

Please. Someone save me. And why did one need Kareena (or is it Kareina) Kapoor (KKappoorr, whatever) and Priyanka Chopra to say this inane line? Logically (nowhere in the picture yet, hence I introduce it!), this would apply to all things. So if you are eating chana and drinking Pepsi while watching TV, it's "Pepsi Chana TV". Pepsi + Rum would make it "Pepsi Rum TV" and so on. You get the drift, right?

And this would also apply to watching TV when say, having tea or scratching yourself or you know, getting cosy with someone. The first two are ok and gross respectively, but the I&B Ministry would never allow the third. For it would be known as "Cosy TV" or "Necking TV" or "Make Out TV" depending on the level of activity you are indulging in.

Now lets bring in a touch of science into this. Hopefully everyone is aware of the law of transitivity (for the non-scientifically-inclined, it says if a = b and b = c, then a = c). Now putting the logic and science to use (they work together so brilliantly, I tell you) we can infer that since Pepsi TV is what you see when drinking Pepsi and watching TV, and Make Out TV is well, you know what, and since that cannot be allowed, Pepsi TV also cannot exist. I wish. I would have been spared the insipid ads at least!

Lux Soap
Starring: Aishwarya Rai (cartoon also her) and three dumb-ass guys. 

Aishwarya Rai just did the rather well-done ad for Coca-Cola (she is doing a better job of it in ads than the movies, eh? Perhaps a return to roots or sorts, what?) and then she agrees to do this: become a nymphomaniacal-looking cartoon superheroine. Who flies around throwing frisbees.

Let's look at it positively, though. As a superheroine, what special powers does she possess? Frisbee throwing is one we know. The other is the ability to bathe (d-uh, this is for a soap) and the third would have to be switch between real and cartoon life at the drop of a soap, oops hat.

Nothing much to write about in the ad and the bottom line is that this is soap she is selling. So it's lavender in colour and makes Aishwarya look thinner and better 'filled up' in all the right areas (controlled environment, you see, in the drawing room). That apart, forget it. I prefer Dettol and Hamam. They are orange and green respectively. Also smell decent and have disinfectants for sure.

They do, right? 


Simi Aunty Is Back

 Simi aunty!

The queen of white is back. And she is as mushy, irritating and outdated as ever. In the presentation of her show anyways!

Last night (Feb 12), the wife and I decided to check out Simi aunty in the latest season of ‘Rendezvous’ and it was about 40 minutes wasted. I do like humor but only when it is intentional. Considering this was the start of a new season (that is another question: when do TV seasons in India start and end?), it was natural to give us a run-through of the last four seasons (and eight years; so she said; go figure).

But more than revisiting the past of the show, it was a journey back in time to production values of pre-1995 India. Shoddy wipes and outrageous background graphics and text… at one point, when showing the types of personalities that have been on her show (politicians, actors, industrialists etc), the sync of the visual and the graphic was totally lost. What was even more amusing was the fact that this could have been rectified in about 3 mins… if someone had noted it, that is.

Anyways… there were testimonials as well going on in the background from people who were as believeable as those who sell the TVC products. Pooja: Model, Jyoti: Fashion Consultant, Some guy: MD and chairman (of what?)… and so on.

Considering the number of people that have been on the show, why not get their testimonials? Or was it “Junta ki awaaz”? Pathetic.

Finally, about 15 mins later, cut to the show. “… and tonight, we have with us, John Abraham”. Picture this: Simi aunty in white. Her set in snow white. John Abraham also in white. Is this a talk show or a funeral?

I will give the lady one thing, though… she asks incisive questions. But the ‘mutual admiration society’ that seems to form on every show with the guest(s) is diabetic. A sincere request: get some colour. Please.

Nach Baliye

I have to admit that I am quite intrigued by this show and over the last couple of weeks, do watch it with unerring regularity. Not really normal for me when it concerns TV shows.
The thing is, this is a chance to see the hitherto typecast TV actors in a totally new light (no allusions to Hindustan Times, please). It is good to see them dress normally and not as dolls dolled (sic) up for a wedding everyday.
Coming to the show and the performances, the chemistry between the older couples (Sachin and Supriya & Archana Puransingh and Parmeet Sethi) is visibly better than that of the younger ones. Of course time plays a part.
I have now seen two consecutive weeks and thankfully the performances on Nov 3 were accompanied by no crying and some rather stern judging (although two teams managed scores of 29 and 30 out of 30). This was the time to seperate the wheat from the chaff.
And I also agree with one of the judges Farhan Akhtar when he says anyone can win. A word of advise for the judges: Being American Idol-esque is fun. Please don’t be Mr and Ms Goody-Two-Shoes.
My money, though, is firmly on the aforementioned older couples. For one, both these couples can shake a leg (or four) and also emote when dancing. As for the others, there are some couples which should dance with a warning that reads: For The Stiff Bodied Only. They are actually worse than I am! Heh!